The Suggestion
When I said I’d take life as it would come, I didn’t imagine something like this happening to me. Worst of all, I couldn’t envision it approaching. I didn’t know. I’m not able to handle this as well as I thought because it is influencing my life drastically. I didn’t think I could fake my way out of not feeling anything because that’s all I ever do is feel more than I’d like to. I trip over bad situations constantly and this had to be the worst one I’ve encountered so far. This will only be the beginning of my story…
I walked out of my Boston apartment on a cool and crisp autumn day. The wind blew through my hair and the leaves rustled around my feet. I decided to walk to my therapist appointment today rather than drive five blocks. I absolutely love autumn because of the fall foliage and my yearly camping trip with my best friend Annabelle. Autumn fiscally, is a great time for me. I’m a tour guide for ghost walks of the city more frequently during October because of Halloween. You wouldn’t believe the paranormal locations we’ve got in Boston. People frequent my ghost walks because I’m a prominent paranormal investigator in the city and usually they always experience something on my walks. I’ve done hundreds of cases with my best friend Annabelle and have aided a lot of people with their paranormal situations. I didn’t want my name to be as well known in the city but unfortunately, word of mouth spreads fast. Not as many people were aware of my psychic abilities and I wanted to keep it that way. I started my paranormal business after I left being a child care provider. I loved the four children I was watching but I hated a lot other things so, my departure was inevitable.
As I continued walking to my therapist’s office, strolling along next to a park with mothers watching their children play, I noticed a little girl with curly brown hair and a misplaced expression on her face. She was playing all alone on the swing set. This little girl continued swinging, legs rising higher to accelerate the pendulum, head always down, neglecting the other children on the playground. Her mother looked bemused at the fact of her daughter’s lack of interaction with the other children. She reminded me so much of myself at her age. I saw it when I looked at her face. She pulled her head up and slowed down the swing to stare into my eyes. She knew then we shared the same gift. This little girl went through the frustration of attempting to understand her gift. I saw her face crinkle by the eyes with a smile that made my heart soften. I pulled my gaze away and continued walking because she knew at that moment she wasn’t alone.
I sauntered up the steps with my hands gliding up the cold black railing to the door. I loved that cold feeling when it penetrated right to my bones, it felt so familiar. Once I entered the office I approached the windowed receptionist desk. The receptionist had straggly blonde hair, small blue eyes and an unfriendly expression on her face. I knew by the feelings I was receiving from her that she had low self esteem. I could relate to that very well.
“Name and insurance card,” she demanded.
“Cailyn Reese, and here it is along with my fifteen dollar co-pay. And at least try to be friendly or work on changing your attitude. That’s why you’re alone.” I responded and slid the card and money through the large hole in the window. She printed my receipt and hissed at me to sit down and wait.
I waited only about 5 minutes to be kindly greeted by my therapist. She was a pretty Native American woman with short black hair and in her mid 30’s, who told me once her hair was long and reached to the middle of her back. Dr.Garvey cut it when she finished college because it seemed too much of a hassle. The face of this classy, intelligent woman was smooth and youthful. I chose her because I was unable to gain any sort of psychic intuition about her. Trust me; it was a trial and error process to find her.
We sat down in her office which only consisted of her cherry wood desk, two chairs, a few Native American keepsakes, and a dream catcher that sat on the wall above the chair I’d often sit on. She told me the dream catcher wasn’t only for nightmares but to catch negative energy as well. I believed her because every time I came out of that office, I felt rejuvenated and less frustrated.
“Cailyn, how have things been?” Dr. Garvey asked. I was afraid to tell her not too well because I hated every session being absolutely negative regardless that I’d feel better when I left. I never knew what she was going to say which is what I loved about her most.
“Things have been frustrating because I can’t get past this.” I said.
“I can imagine. Have you attended any molestation support groups like I suggested for you?” She asked.
“No. I didn’t.” I said glumly.
“Are you afraid to go alone?” She questioned.
“Yes, I am…” I replied in shame. I started playing with my hair because I started becoming nervous. Dr. Garvey quickly acknowledged my nervous state and took action to lessen it. She passed a blue stress ball to me that had a smiley face on it. I instantly took it into my hands and began to squash it with all of my strength. I pretended it was his face.
“Cailyn…I think maybe you should move. It sounds insane coming from me, I know. Although, I think it would be best to try a different life somewhere else. It’ll help you recover.” She said with slight hesitation in her voice. Why would you say something like that to someone if you weren’t sure? I’m paying for her services in which I need her to be sure.
I still didn’t understand what she was saying. I’ve often thought about leaving but I thought that was the opposite of what a victim was supposed to do. I assumed it was like running from my problems. Maybe I have other problems though that can’t be alleviated without being somewhere else. I’ve got plenty of family issues and problems with men. I guess trying a move wouldn’t be so bad though. I could simply reinvent myself again…
Dr. Garvey got up and wanted to try a palm reading on me. I didn’t know Native Americans did palm readings but I could deal with this. Of course, I was going to let her. She grabbed my left hand and started observing the lines as if she was reading every memory I’ve ever made and had. She finally looked up after careful scrutiny during the reading.
“I’ve never done this for a patient before but you’ve got powers beyond your control. I feel it in waves throughout the room.” She told me. I pulled my chair up to her desk and Dr. Garvey gently grabbed my hands across the desk.
“W-what are you talking about?” I stammered. Dr. Garvey didn’t know about any of my abilities. I never told her. At least I don’t think I did. I tried keeping that to myself because my abilities sounded rather strange to most normal people. I’m not sure what normal was anyhow.
“I see a man. I’m not sure what this means.” She said. Could that have been anymore general? It could have been any man.
“Oh…really, that doesn’t mean anything. It’s a man. There are plenty that infest my life as it is.” I snapped back. I didn’t mean to get bitter at that comment. C’mon though…it could have been anyone. I’ve got lots of fuckwads that I encounter all of the time. Ha, the last one I was dating especially. James. He was an asshole beyond belief. He left me for his ex-girlfriend but continuously would harass me for sex that I’d never give him in a million years. I’m glad I didn’t waste anymore time on that nonsense. She says “it’s a man,” but that gives me nothing to work with and it could be someone to hurt me again. I don’t think my knight in shining armor will be arriving anytime soon or ever to be honest.
“No, it does mean something. It’s not him. It’s someone who is good and is bad. I mean…he’s good for you and bad for other people. And you’re powerful beyond belief…I felt it but now I see it.” She said as her eyes dilated. What does she mean I’m powerful? I know I’m a freak already. This reading was becoming very weird and I didn’t know if I could handle it anymore. I wanted to inquire about the “good” man for me though.
“Is he a love interest?” I asked. I was hoping she would say yes. It would give me hope even if I knew it was nothing but a lie. It gave me something to wake up for…I loved fairytales. I know mine would never come true but I’m a dreamer.
“He’s more than that. He’s not the only one though. There’s a lot of evil that you’re going to have to face. It’s inevitable because it’s your fate.”
“Why are you telling me all of this? You know more about me than you’ve led me to believe? Tell me what you know.” I demanded.
“Yes, I know what you are and I know what you will do. I am clairvoyant like you. I’m also…something else. I can’t tell you anymore than that. You need to go…please move and call me when you’ll need me. George won’t be around after next year either.” She remarked. I was confused. I was hurt that she never was honest with me and part of me understood. What else was she? This world is ridiculous. What did she mean that George wouldn’t be around after next year? George is the one who molested me for over two years. I never wished for him to die though. How would he die? I hope she wasn’t going to do it.
“I call you when I need you…so I’ll just know? This is too weird…even for me.” I asked. She released my hands and moved gracefully out of the chair beside me. She nudged me to get out of the chair and she began to walk me to the door. I didn’t pay for a twenty minute session…more like an hour session. She moved in closer to my side as we approached the door.
“Yes, good luck and be safe. I know you’ll be fine, Cailyn.” As she grabbed my hand she whispered in my ear, “Please, keep this with you,” and then placed a silver ring with a Native American symbol in it. It looked like an owl of some kind but I wasn’t exactly sure. It was beautiful.
“Thank you and I will.” I agreed and left. I should’ve argued but something inside of me knew that she was right. She knew more and I believed that.